2008 Woodie Awards
Living with Schizophrenia
Jennifer Espaillat
Issue date: 4/28/08 Section: Healthcare
It was four years ago when she first heard the voices, when they began to drive her crazy. She used to have good days but now she just has bad ones.
I look at her sometime-stare at her while she cooks, wondering if she hears the voices or if the invisibles, the people she claims to see, are in the kitchen with her. Then, I hear her chuckle like she often does at random, when there is nothing funny and I know---the invisibles are there.
Schizophrenia is real and it lives in my house.
It's difficult for a person to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses to others, and to behave normally in social situations.
Such is the case with my mother.
Her worst days start with a "loud" morning as I've come to call them. The yelling starts around 6:30 a.m. when Dad gets up for work. She's restless and upset, so I pass her by on the way to the bathroom without saying a word, hoping she doesn't start to yell at me. My dad resumes his daily tug-of-war trying to get her to take her medicine, but it's always a fight.
The National Institute of Mental Health says schizophrenia affects 1.1 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. The illness can develop over months and even years with symptoms appearing gradually. At first people may feel tense, may have trouble sleeping, or concentrating. They become isolated and withdrawn, and they do not make or keep friends. Over time, as the illness develops; psychotic symptoms begin to surface. Symptoms include delusions, false beliefs or thoughts and hallucinations, as well as disordered thinking, and thoughts that jump among unrelated topics.
In cases of paranoia, schizophrenics think others are broadcasting their thoughts to the world and they become convinced that they're plotting to harm them. These experiences can make them fearful and withdrawn making it difficult to maintain relationships with others.
I look at her sometime-stare at her while she cooks, wondering if she hears the voices or if the invisibles, the people she claims to see, are in the kitchen with her. Then, I hear her chuckle like she often does at random, when there is nothing funny and I know---the invisibles are there.
Schizophrenia is real and it lives in my house.
It's difficult for a person to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses to others, and to behave normally in social situations.
Such is the case with my mother.
Her worst days start with a "loud" morning as I've come to call them. The yelling starts around 6:30 a.m. when Dad gets up for work. She's restless and upset, so I pass her by on the way to the bathroom without saying a word, hoping she doesn't start to yell at me. My dad resumes his daily tug-of-war trying to get her to take her medicine, but it's always a fight.
The National Institute of Mental Health says schizophrenia affects 1.1 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. The illness can develop over months and even years with symptoms appearing gradually. At first people may feel tense, may have trouble sleeping, or concentrating. They become isolated and withdrawn, and they do not make or keep friends. Over time, as the illness develops; psychotic symptoms begin to surface. Symptoms include delusions, false beliefs or thoughts and hallucinations, as well as disordered thinking, and thoughts that jump among unrelated topics.
In cases of paranoia, schizophrenics think others are broadcasting their thoughts to the world and they become convinced that they're plotting to harm them. These experiences can make them fearful and withdrawn making it difficult to maintain relationships with others.
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